


505

by staunris



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M, nsfw mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-19 15:06:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13706952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staunris/pseuds/staunris
Summary: Twenty-nine-year-old Bill Denbrough’s novel strikes gold and earns a movie deal. He puts his life on hold for two years to move to Toronto, but when movie production wraps up, he must return to Derry in hopes to win back the man he left behind.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fic. I post this on tumblr as well, @staunris. Comments/kudos appreciated! +.ﾟ(*´∀｀)bﾟ+.ﾟｲｨ♡

It was Bill’s last day in Toronto. He was boarding a plane that would travel two hours east back towards his home of Derry, Maine after spending the last two and a half years away. Bill was pulling his old raggedy suitcase down the aisles of the airport, anxious to get to his terminal. Two and a half years was much too long to be gone–he knew that now.

Bill Denbrough graduated from Brown University in 1998 with a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing. Rhode Island wasn’t that big of a change from Maine, being only an hour away. The winters were just as bitter, and of course followed up by a welcoming spring, and then a sweltering summer. Bill’s favorite season, though, was autumn. Autumn was when he met the love of his life, Stanley Uris. Stan was a fellow student at Brown, but a freshman in Bill’s junior year. They met at orientation; Bill was one of the guides for the upcoming students of Brown. His assignment was to show them around campus, but instead he and Stan spent the duration of the event locked away in a supply closet together. Of course, it wasn’t either boys intentions to not take orientation seriously, but as Bill thought back to it almost seven years later, he would never change that. He was now coming close to his thirtieth birthday, and has already published three novels.

Stan Uris graduated from Brown University in 2002 with a master’s degree in Psychology. Unlike Bill, Stanley was not so used to the cold weather. He’d spent his whole life in California; he hadn’t even seen a snowfall in person until his first winter spent at Brown. He wasn’t used to the harsh winters, not as much as Bill. That winter was the first time that Stan wasn’t in California to celebrate his birthday by going birdwatching with his dad, and then out again at night with his lifelong friend, Bev. Instead, he spent that December evening cooped up in the arms of Bill Denbrough. And now, for the first time ever, he is spending it completely alone. He has just turned twenty-eight, and has been working a steady job as a clinical psychologist for only two years now in Derry, where Bill left him.

Bill took his seat on the plane; he spent most of the flight staring out of the window. He couldn’t wait to see the familiar birch trees and snow-covered rooftops. Not that much could have possibly changed in Derry in two and a half years–nothing had ever changed during his entire lifetime being raised there. That old town he grew up in was the epitome of conservatism. Nevertheless, he wanted to go home. Bill missed his friends more than anything else in the time he spent in Toronto. In Derry were very important people in Bill’s life: Ben Hanscom and Mike Hanlon, whom he’d been best friends with since fourth grade. They all went their separate ways for college, but they were able to rekindle every chance they could, mainly over Christmas or Spring breaks. Mike took a year off school to work as much as he could to save up for school, and eventually earned his bachelor’s in English from the University of Maine. He was immediately hired to work at the library in Derry from that point, and has been there ever since. Mike had ambition, but not the adventure in him to be as far from home as Bill. He didn’t mind it, though; he knew he needed to stay and take care of his grandfather in his old age. Ben attended the same university as Mike, and even the same major, but minored in Education. He was now an English teacher, and working at the high school they all graduated from. He kept an autographed picture of Bill on his desk to amuse his students; he enjoyed being able to say to his students that his best friend in the entire world was a successful author–who just wrapped up his first film adaption in Canada.

Bill still had a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that one of his books had gotten so popular. So much in fact that he had a film producer emailing him pitches and parts of script only a year after it had been published. Bill’s favorite (and best-written) genre is horror. Like most authors, he pulls a lot of inspiration for his writing from his own life. He hadn’t experienced anything like the crazy murderous clown like he had written about in his best-seller, but a lot of what he wrote about came from an incident that happened to his little brother Georgie. Georgie, at the time of the It’s attack–as Bill would call it–was six years old. Bill was babysitting Georgie while their parents were out running errands; they were beginning to get ready for their annual family trip to Acadia. Bill, being thirteen at the time, wasn’t too keen on having to keep an eye on his brother while he was sick. Georgie was bugging him for hours about going out into the rain–puddle splash, race their paper boats, anything–whatever he could to get Bill to play with him.

_“I’m too old for that, Georgie,” 13-year-old Bill rolled his eyes and continued to pay attention to his homework. “Take the boat I made you last time. It should still be waterproof if you didn’t tear it.” And with that, Georgie gave up. He took the boat Bill made him last time it rained and ventured out on his own, clad in his yellow slicker and matching boots._

That was one mistake Bill will never forgive himself for. An hour later, his parents came home, and there was no sign of Georgie still. He remembers the fight that immediately broke loose in the Denbrough household when they all realized Georgie was missing.

_“I don’t know!” Bill cried. “I don’t know where he went! I swear!”_

_“You were supposed to be watching him, William!” Zachary Denbrough barked, right in his face. Tears were swelling in his eyes and his entire face stung due to the intense embarrassment, and sorrow._

Georgie went missing for three days. By the fourth morning, the Derry Police Department showed up at the Denbrough’s doorstep with the news about Georgie. He wasn’t dead–but very close. Georgie was found twenty miles outside of Derry: scared, starved, and alone. He had no answers. No matter how many times the police, his parents, or even Bill pleaded to know why he went so far–Georgie never budged. It wasn’t until a few years later that Bill received an answer.

_“Billy?” Georgie, now 12 years old, came knocking on his older brother’s door late at night. Bill looked at his alarm clock. 3:26 am._

_“What the h-hell, Georgie,” Bill whispered and rubbed his eyes. “It’s_ _s-s-so fucking–”_

_“I need to talk to you.” The tone of Georgie’s voice changed Bill’s mind._

_“About what?”_

_“The incident.”_

_Bill was fully awake at that point. Georgie never initiated the talk, in all of the hundreds of times someone else has. Young George Denbrough sat on his brother’s bed, and slowly, silently began to weep._

_“Georgie…”_

_“Bill, please don’t make fun of me.” Georgie choked out. Bill was a typical brother sometimes; he’d tease Georgie for bad grades or crushes, but in moments like these, he knew he needed to shut up and listen._

_“I’m listening.”_

_“There was a man, Bill. But…it wasn’t a man!” a sniffle, then he continued: “It looked like a clown.”_

_With that, Bill furrowed his brows. A man dressed as a clown? It made no sense to him. Georgie could read the look on Bill’s face and knew he didn’t believe it._

_“Never mind, Bill…” he stood up again and began to walk towards the door. Just as his hand touched the handle, Bill sat up in the bed and leaned against the bed frame._

_“No, Georgie. Stay. Tell me more. Tell me a-about him. Tell me about…It.”_

And after that point, Georgie opened up to Bill about everything. The clown, how he–It–was covered in blood, calling his name to come closer, showing off his sharp glistening teeth. Georgie had to attend therapy from that day onward until his eighteenth birthday. He was twenty-one now, and finally living a normal life. He was even set to graduate college soon–University of Massachusetts, class of 2008. Bill couldn’t be prouder.

The sound of the flight attendant’s voice broke Bill out of his phase. He looked away from the window and realized he was the only person left that needed to unbuckle and exit the plane.

“Is this your bag, sir?” she asked and reached up to grab what obviously was his bag, the only one left on the overhead compartment.

“I-I-I’m sorry, ma’am. Thank you. Have a nice day.” After that exchange, Bill stood up. Suddenly, all of the giddiness he felt earlier left his body. Anxiety overwhelmed him; his thoughts immediately jumped to Stanley.

Stanley. _His_ Stanley. He needed to call–

Bill’s phone began to vibrate in his pocket. _Are you there, God? Are you listening? I could use a cigarette right about now, too,_ Bill thought to himself and smiled. The smile faltered slightly when he saw the name that shone on the screen. It wasn’t Stan, but Mike was a close second.

“Bill!” Mike was practically yelling on the other side of the line.

“Mike!” he replied, matching the enthusiasm.

“Are you here? Your plane was scheduled to land a little while ago, so I figured I’d take the chance and call.”

“I j-just got off, actually! Are you with Ben?” Bill made sure to ask Mike about Ben. Although they tried not to make a big deal of it, Mike and Ben had grown feelings for one another after college. It might’ve taken their entire lives to realize the fact, but they were happy nonetheless.

“I’m here, Bill!” Ben’s voice was distant but Bill could almost hear the grin on his face. “But I hope you planned on taking a taxi.”

“I was. Don’t worry about it.” Bill walked around the small airport that was a few miles just outside of Derry, looking for baggage claim. “H-H-Have you guys heard from Stan, recently?”

Silence on the other line. There was a burning minute before Mike answered with a curt “No.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m l-l-looking forward to seeing you guys, finally!” Bill changed the subject, not wanting to ask any more questions that’d make them feel awkward. “Its b-been f-forever. I don’t think I would have been able to t-take it any longer.”

“Mike, give me the phone!” Ben’s voice became clearer. “Us either, Bill. Hey, but, uh, about Stan…” he cleared his throat before continuing, “I’ve ran into him a few times. Once at the grocery store, he was getting cat litter or something. We made eye contact, but…after you guys broke up, he basically started avoiding us, too.”

Bill closed his eyes and let go of a breath he wasn’t realizing he was holding. “Thanks, Ben,” he mumbled. Bill pulled his suitcase off the conveyor belt and started to walk towards the exit. “I-I’ll be there s-soon.”

“One more thing, Bill,” Mike interrupted, apparently having possession of the phone again. “Just…take care of yourself. You’re back now, are you not? You can fix things with Stan. Settle in, first, but…you know what I mean.”

And with that, he hung up.


	2. Chapter Two

Five texts, three missed calls and one voicemail from Bev. Stan stared down at his phone screen and contemplated calling her back. He knew he was acting childish over the situation–he was a _psychologist_ , for crying out loud. There was no question he already knew how he should be handling his own boy problems. But today marked Bill’s first day back in Derry, and that terrified him. Stan didn’t have it on his calendar; the date had been engraved into his memory when he read it in the email Bill sent him a year into his departure.

Bill wrote to Stan sometimes. Sometimes meaning, it was extremely inconsistent when Stan would receive a letter from him. There would be times where Stan would be faced with a letter a week for a couple weeks straight, and then not hear from Bill again for months. No matter how long the letters were, they’d always start with a _Dear Stan…_ and end with, _Call me? Love, Bill._ Stan always thought it was odd that Bill took the extra time to sit down and write the letters instead of him calling– dialing a number was definitely an easier and faster route. But on the other hand, Stan knew it was just another one of Bill’s quirks. He was a hopeless romantic when he chose to be. And an excellent writer, nonetheless. Contrary to his books, Bill’s letters to Stan were fluffy, almost as poetic as Ben’s work sometimes. Stan felt his cheeks warm up as he reminisced about Bill, but wiped the smile off his face the second he realized it was there.

Stan hadn’t opened all the letters. In fact, he had only kept up with them for a year. In total, he had close to fifty letters collected, but read maybe half of them. He never threw them away, though. The nightstand next to his bed had drawers top to bottom, and the very last was full of nothing but things that he had left of Bill–including the letters. Aside from those, he had one of Bill’s old watches and a cologne. Stan peered over his shoulder from his spot at the end of his bed where he sat. The drawer didn’t have eyes, but it sure felt like it was glaring right back at him. Stan removed himself from the bed and sat crisscrossed in front of the nightstand. Before he could reach to open it, he was already beginning to feel the hot and frustrated tears form. This was a familiar place to be; sitting in front of the nightstand in the middle of the night, flipping through the letters he had opened, and teasing himself by holding the ones he hadn’t yet. Stan opened the drawer.

_Dear Stan…_ flashed into his memory. He couldn’t push it aside, even for a second. No matter how badly he wished he could.

He picked up the cologne with a light hand; one part of him knew it was because that to him, this glass bottle felt like it was made out of all of the precious gems in the world and he wouldn’t dare mistreat it. The other part of him was holding it that way because maybe, just maybe, if he’d accidentally drop it, he secretly hoped it would shatter into a million pieces so he wouldn’t have to do this to himself ever again. Stan sprayed it onto his neck, which by now was already wet with the tears that ran down his chin. It smelled woody and masculine, with a hint of orange that Stan hated when it mixed with the tobacco from Bill’s cigarettes. Even when he said he hated it, though, it was a scent Stan considered home. It was the smell of the countless amount of times he laid in Bill’s arms at night, breathing in that mixture of scents, and melting into it. Bill’s signature smell. And when Stan closed his eyes, it was almost like he was there, too.

He placed the cologne in its rightful place at the back of the drawer. Right next to it, he saw the watch. Stan slid it on to his wrist and pressed the gold-plated clasp shut. It was slightly big and slid around quite a bit on his skinny wrist, but it fit Bill’s perfectly, so Stan kept it on. The watch wasn’t cheap; it was a graduation gift from his parents. Stan was there the night they gave it to Bill. The Denbroughs and Stan went to Bill’s favorite restaurant the night of graduation, but the most he could remember that day was hollering alongside his family when Bill’s name was called, and then what they did after dinner at their old apartment.

He couldn’t bring himself to touch the letters–he questioned if there was even a point now. Of all of the letters he had, Stan didn’t reply to a single one of them. _I’m too stubborn,_ Stan scolded himself. He knew he was wrong for expecting Bill to stay in Derry. A movie deal was a dream come true for any author, but as much as he knew that, Stan couldn’t bear the thought of long distance. _Selfish._ Stan had just landed a stable job after searching for months, right there in Derry where Bill grew up. _Coward._

He slammed the drawer shut and stood up to pull his phone back out and dialed one of the only numbers he knew by heart. He needed to speak to Bev before his thoughts got the best of him.

“Stan!” Bev’s voice exuded her frustration. She was fuming, but Stan didn’t need an explanation as to why.

“I know, I know,” he started, “don’t say it.”

“Stan,” she repeated herself, but in a more stern voice than before. Bev didn’t get angry at him too often, but when she was it was for good reason. “You need to stop ignoring people when you’re upset. I’m trying to help you, here. It’s even harder to do while I’m across the country.”

Bev still lived in California; she graduated in 2000 from the Academy of Art University in San Francisco. She earned her BA in their fashion program and has been making her own clothing ever since. Now, there was Bev’s Boutique, right in the heart of San Fran. It was her dream, and Stan winces at the fact that he wasn’t there every step of the way.

Stan and Bev grew up together while he lived in California; they went to the same school their entire lives. When Bev made the bold decision to cut her long fiery locks off and rocked a “boyish” haircut throughout the rest of high school, Stan was the first to stand up for her. Stan was still in the closet during prom season, and Bev was his date–she ended up covering for him when he and Joaquin Freya, the quarterback, left an hour early to go make out behind the bleachers. They’ve been through it all together, so in moments like these, she knows exactly what he needs to hear.

“Can you please come visit? You said you would after you opened the boutique. It’s open now…let the store managers hold things down for a bit. Call it a business trip!”

“Stan…”

“Bev,” he interrupted, “please. I need you more than anyone else right now. I can’t talk to my parents about this. It’s not like I have anyone else here.”

“Yeah, that’s why you adopted a cat. Remember?”

“No.” _Stubborn._

“Fine,” Beverly rolled her eyes. On the inside, she knew she would visit Derry at some point. There was no way they’d spent the rest of their lives apart, anyways. “I’ll see how soon I can come and how much time I can take out of my schedule.”

“Thank you,” Stan smiled. He felt better almost instantly, now knowing he wouldn’t have to keep dealing with this on his own. The last time they saw each other in person was three years ago; with Stan’s job searching and Bev opening up her own business, the time was completely unavailable to them both. “I missed you a lot, Beverly.”

“I know you do, but I’ll be there soon enough Goose. I’ll text you when I’ve got everything planned out. I gotta go now–you’re still a few hours ahead of me and I need to get ready for work. I love you, Stan.”

“Good. I love you too, Bev.”

“And Stan?”

“Yes?”

“You’ll get through this.”

For the first time in a long while, Stan felt genuinely happy.

After work that day, Stan went started his usual procedure. Get to his apartment, feed his cat Caesar (a white Persian he adopted from a local after the break up), make dinner, and go to bed. Some days he’d clean here and there, or run an errand, but he mostly stayed home. It was difficult for him to want to go out and meet new friends–once Bill and Stan moved to Derry together after Stan graduated, most of the friends he had left were Bill’s. Mike and Ben were great to him, and although he wouldn’t admit it, he missed them a lot.

He knew Mike lived on a farm for his entire life. On the weekends when neither one of them had commitments, they often chose to hang out at his farm and visit the animals or tend some of the plants. Stan’s favorite activity to do at the end of summer in Derry was to go to Mike’s farm and pick raspberries. It reminded him of his home in California, and when Mike learned that, they were there almost every Saturday during the month of September. After they picked them, they spent the rest of the day making jam, pies, and whatever else they could possibly think of.

Stan didn’t have any siblings, but the closest thing he had to a brother was Ben. Ben was only two years older than Stan like Bill was, but he felt infinitely wiser than anyone else he knew. Whenever Stan was having a personal problem, he sought out comfort in Ben before he did Bill usually. Ben was straightforward with his advice but was still maintained an empathetic nature. Stan struggled for months to find a job in Derry, but Ben was his number one supporter and helped him keep going. Stan told him he was one of the only people that made Derry worth living in.

Right by his shin, Stan felt Caesar rub up against him. “C’mere, cat,” he cooed and picked up the white ball of fur. “We don’t need him, right?” The cat sneezed-probably due to the cologne he doused himself in moments ago-and Stan took that as his response. “Yeah. I agree.”


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up-this chapter is slightly NSFW in the beginning!

Bill woke up the next morning much earlier than he’d like. He wasn’t sleeping very well, but not due to the fact that he’d been traveling the day before or he was just too excited to be back home to sleep. There was a lingering thought in his mind he just couldn’t shake. He’d tried to distract himself by talking on the phone with Georgie all night (who was still at UMass and couldn’t make it home to greet him personally), and currently had cartoons running on the television that sat on top of his dresser. _Samurai Jack_ couldn’t replace the pressing matter on Bill’s heart. All of his troubles traced back to Stan.

He closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands. He let his mind explore back to the feeling of Stan’s bare skin in his hands, his curls moving between his fingers, and kissing the light spattering of freckles across his forehead and cheeks. His memory was tortuously vivid. It had been over two years since Bill had gotten physical with someone; he couldn’t bring himself to go on a date in Toronto without feeling like he was cheating. He had so much hope for the future, he didn’t want to risk his chance with Stan when he came back. Of course, Bill felt prideful to be able to say he hadn’t slept with anyone in those two and a half years, but that didn’t mean he left his urges to bottle up inside.

He pulled his boxers down from under the covers. He tried to mimic Stan’s light touch and delicate fingers as much as he possibly could as his hand traveled down his chest, creeping closer to his lower regions. Bill felt some tears start to form and a heaviness in his chest but kept himself going. He pumped his fist slowly–almost shyly, like Stan always started out when he would get when they began to get physical. His lips parted slightly as he began to pant. Bill wished so badly on the inside that he didn’t have to be alone every time he got to this position.

Stan and Bill’s first time wasn’t until a few months into their relationship. They’d make out a lot and do some heavy petting if they got to that point, but Stan still needed the time to adjust to his new life at Brown and being around Bill so much before they jumped into having sex together. Bill was understanding and promised himself to never make Stan feel pressured into having sex with him before he felt ready. Despite it being early on in the relationship at the time, he could tell Stan was special. The last thing he wanted to do was rush into sex and create any sort of weirdness between them.

_“I don’t like the way that w-waiter was l-looking at you,” Bill joked as the two young men walked in through the door of his apartment. “He seemed a little excited to refill your w-w-water every time he passed the table.”_

_“Oh, shut up, Denbrough.” Stan chuckled a bit at the thought of Bill being jealous of the waiter. “Charles was just being nice.”_

_“Charles? You remembered his n-name?! I’ve got no chance now…” Bill sighed dramatically and draped the back of his hand over his forehead. “What would I do if I lost you?”_

_“Die.”_

_Bill snorted. “You wish.”_

_The small talk died quickly when they got home and the door closed behind them. Stan snaked his arms around Bill’s waist and the mood in the room immediately shifted. Usually, Stan wouldn’t stay for too long; he loved to be around Bill, but he wasn’t about to let that get in front of his schoolwork just halfway through his freshman year. This time, they could both tell was different._

_“Lead the way, Bill.” Stan pushed himself up on his tiptoes to whisper into Bill’s ear. Almost right away, Bill captured Stan’s lips with his own. Stan sighed into the kiss with content. Finally, they both felt ready enough to share that moment together._

Bill still had a hand wrapped around himself, but was moving much quicker than before. Small droplets of sweat began to form on his forehead.

_“A-A-Am I moving too fast?” His stutter always seemed to get worse around Stanley._

_“Just shut up, Bill.” They both smiled at that._

Even through the tears running down his reddened cheeks, a toothy grin sprouted onto his face. Stan could humor him in any situation. After a few more seconds, Bill felt himself reaching closer to climax.

_Bill looked down at the face of the boy laid underneath him. Stan’s eyes were squeezed shut, and his lips were parted in the slightly to let the shallow breaths come in and out at the same pace of Bill’s hips. “Y-You’re so gorgeous, Stanley…”_

_Stan opened his eyes at the comment and took Bill’s face into his hands. They were only a few months into their relationship, but he could have sworn had just fallen in love completely right then and there. He pulled Bill down closer and kissed him, sloppy and open-mouthed, but with as much passion as he could muster nonetheless. A silent ‘I love you’ that was enough to make Bill stop moving completely and melt inside._

_Bill’s legs shook and head buried deeper into the pillow as he came. He opened his wet and swollen eyes and stared at the ceiling as he slowly came back down from his orgasm._

“I love you too, Stanley,” he whispered to only himself.

* * *

 

Later on, Bill showered and braced himself for his first official day back in Derry. He was excited to be home, but not about the fact he had to start searching for an apartment all over again. As he learned from Ben and Mike, Stan had sold the old apartment and bought a smaller one right on Derry’s town line. Bill didn’t have the capacity to feel bitter about it, he didn’t expect him to stay there after how badly things ended between them. He wouldn’t want to be surrounded by all of those memories, either. Staying with his parents wasn’t too bad, though; they turned his childhood bedroom into a fresh-looking guest room after he left for college, and because he was an adult now he didn’t need to worry about silly curfews either.

Bill picked up his cellphone to shoot Ben and Mike a quick text about meeting them for coffee, and when they agreed, he was out the door.

“You guys!” Bill grinned and opened his arms wide to hug the two other men. The three settled to meet at Ridge’s Cafe, which was located in the heart of Derry. “I missed you!”

“Holy cow, Bill. Didn’t realize the movie-making business was that stressful. You’ve already got grey hairs buddy!” Ben snickered as he hugged him.

“Talk about yourself, four eyes.”

“Four eyes? Really? That’s all you got?” Mike laughed alongside Ben but rolled his eyes. “So where’s our red carpet tickets?”

The three men chose the sitting area in the back corner of the cafe. Ben and Mike were thrilled to have their friend back, but couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable as they slowly began to run out of topics to keep Bill off of asking about Stanley. Every once in a while, Ben shot Mike a hesitant look, as if saying _keep going_ as he rambled about whatever topic they were on. Mike rubbed Ben’s hand from under the table.

The second there was a flat moment, Bill took it. “S-So, have you guys heard from–”

“Oh! Bill, I gotta tell you about me and Ben’s first date.” Mike interrupted.

“I t-th-thought your first date was here, you got coffee and you sp-spilled it on his lap.”

Ben butted in to help Mike out. “Nah, I called for a redo. Our real first date was–”

“I’m re-really happy for you guys, seriously. B-But can you just answer me? Why are you k-keeping me from asking about Stan? It’s-s’kinda getting on my nerves.”

Mike let out a defeated breath. He knew Ben was going to want to sugar coat it first, so he jumped right in. “Bill, I’m not gonna lie to you anymore, bud. Don’t you think it’s time to move on? Stan probably has by now!” And just as he thought, Ben winced at Mike’s harsh choice of words.

“Bill…”

“N-N-No,” Bill argued, “he wouldn’t. You j-just said so yourself, anyways, you guys don’t know what he’s got going on–”

“Bill!” Ben raised his voice, which turned a few heads in the cafe. “Seriously? We’re trying to help you out. He stopped talking to us after you broke up, too. He cut us all off. If we’re out too, there’s no hope. I’m sorry man, but you–”

“Wow,” Bill stood up, exasperated. “What good f-fr-friends you are.”

“Whatever, man.” Mike finished with a short tsk. “We’re just tryin’ to help out. There’s no gentle way of telling you to move on.”

As Mike finished his short lecture, Bill was storming out of Ridge’s with his fists clenched.

“Nice going, Mike!” Ben shot a glare at his boyfriend. “You should have let me talk to him.”

“No, Ben. Bill’s been hoping Stan would come around for over two years now. It’s time to cut him loose.” Mike made it clear in his tone that he was done discussing the topic. The two sat in an unbearable silence for a few moments until Ben spoke up.

“You can try to talk him out of this, but at the end of the day, Bill’s gonna do whatever he wants. And knowing Bill, you can’t dispute the fact that getting Stan back is what he wants, so he’s gonna stay this way until he comes to his own conclusion. Besides…” Ben looked at him with a solemn look on his face, “you know you miss him, too.”

Mike couldn’t say he was wrong. It was no secret Mike had put up a wall after Bill left and Stanley cut them off. When their group of four suddenly dwindled down the way it did, he felt betrayed. A betrayal he felt similar to Stan, but that Stan caused to him by a domino effect. “Alright, fine. I’ll call him tonight and apologize.” _We’ll see if he’s calmed down enough by then to accept it,_ he wanted to add.

“ _Thank you_ , Mike.” Once they settled back into a comfortable lull, the men gathered their things and started their walk to the car.

Derry Psychiatry and Psychology Offices was a tall brick building that was lined up with all of the other places to be in Derry; all of the specialty doctor’s offices, restaurants, and most popular: Ridge’s Cafe. Stan’s last appointment with a client ended right at 4:00 pm and was walking out the door by 4:05. From down the street, Mike and Ben were leaving the cafe hand-in-hand. They began a short walk up towards Stan’s office to get to where they parked their car. As they got closer, Ben recognized a certain nest of curly hair walking towards them. Stan was looking down at his phone, occasionally brushing against someone coming in the opposite direction.

“Mike,” Ben stopped them in their tracks. “Look! It’s Stan.” Mike did a double shot in Stan’s direction. Lo and behold, Stanley was walking in their direction, unknowingly to land himself in the center of their tracks. “We should talk to him.”

“Do you think he’s gonna talk to us? He hasn’t returned our texts for the past two years if you don’t remember.” Mike said. He was trying to shoot down the idea, but in the back of his head, he knew it would be too late to go anywhere else. Stan finally looked up from his phone and immediately came to a halt. The color drained from his face as if he were looking at a ghost, or two. Ben ignored it, sprouted into a semi-fake smile and waved. Half of him was just as frustrated as Mike for him cutting them off, but he didn’t think he was a lost cause. He still cherished the memories they had made together while Stan and Bill were on good terms, so he was gonna try to make things work again.

“Stan!” Ben closed the remaining few steps left between them. “Uh, hey! What’s up?” Stan noted that Ben didn’t mention that it’s been over a year since they last ran into each other.

“Oh,” Stan spoke up after he reeled himself back into reality, “not much, Ben… How about you?”

“Good,” Mike answered for him, which earned him an elbow into his side from Ben that he ignored. Stan looked up at him with some shock on his face.

“That’s…good.”

“We should hang out sometime,” Ben took the chance to speak up again before the awkwardness got a chance to settle. “Mike and I usually go to Ridge’s to have lunch together if our schedules line up. So, if you’re not doing anything tomorrow around one…you should join us.”

Stan stood there, staring at his feet. “I’ll see about that. A lot of clients, and stuff. Y’know.” he cleared his throat before continuing, “Nice talking to you guys.”

“See you ‘round, Stan,” Mike smiled at him briefly. Stan said nothing else but nodded and continued his walk towards to his sedan.

Ben let out a sigh, both out of relief and worry. “Now I’m glad Bill took off earlier.”

“Christ,” Mike chuckled at the irony of their situation, and thankfully let some light into the air by doing so. “I’m not ready for that bomb to go off quite yet.”

Ben grinned up at him. “Yeah, promise me if either one of us gets a chance like Bill we’re not gonna end up like that.”

“And _I’m_ the harsh one?”

“You wanna know what’s harsh? Not letting me play New Kids on the Block in the car…”

Mike and Ben teased each other as they strolled back to their car; meanwhile, Stan was speeding to get home. The only things left on his mind were calling Bev and breaking open the bottle of wine sitting on the top shelf of his cupboard. Right he walked through the door, he had his phone in his hand and made his way straight to the kitchen. He dialed her number expecting to hear a few rings before she answered, but to his surprise, she didn’t waste any time picking up.

“Stan! I was just about to call you!”

“If you don’t have good news, I might just hang myself.”

Bev winced at his choice of words. “First of all, not funny. Secondly, I do! I was able to put time aside in my schedule to come see you. Only for a week, though, Goose.”

“Wait, really?” Stan’s mood switched. “When are you coming down?”

“In a few days. My plane will arrive in Derry around midnight on Sunday.”

Stan let out a long sigh of relief. Things were oddly looking good for him, finally. He had his job, his cat, and he knew that Bev was always a party to be around when he needed her to be. It might be the answer to renewing his love life. He stuck his phone between his shoulder and cheek to hold it there as he poured himself a glass of wine.

“It’s crazy how much peace of mind you bring me sometimes, Bev.”

“I know, Goose. I’ll text you later, but until then I gotta get some sleep. Goodnight! _Mwah!_ ”

“Goodnight, Beverly.” Stan smiled and hung up. He took a swig from his wine glass and looked down at the cat at his feet. “Your mom’s coming to town, Caesar. Are you excited?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bill crying while masturbating? canon (flashback in italics, again!)


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a new challenger approaching! introducing: richie tozier. cute barista, dorky, loves long walks on the beach and cheesy pick-up lines...

“He’s not gonna show.”

“He’ll show up!”

“Ben, he’s not gonna show up!”

“Mike, will you just--”

They stopped bickering when they heard a jingle coming from the entrance door. To their surprise, there was Stan in his usual business casual attire.

“I’ll be honest, I didn’t think he was gonna show,” Ben whispered with a nudge. Mike rolled his eyes and muttered a _sheesh_. The two smiled and waved at Stan, which he returned as he stood in line to buy his coffee first.

“What are we even gonna talk about? Try to coax him into seeing Bill just because that’s what Bill would want?”

Ben looked down into his mug as if it his coffee held all the answers. “I don’t know! Like I said, I wasn’t actually planning on him showing up...but I do know we shouldn’t scare him off right away with bringing up Bill.”

Mike said nothing in response but nodded. As they brainstormed, the boy behind the counter was taking Stan’s order.

“Heya sweet cheeks! What can I get for you?” the boy-Richie, his name tag read-leaned one elbow onto the counter and looked up at Stan with a grin. Stan looked apprehensive at his choice of words, but didn’t comment.

“Can I get a medium cappuccino? That’ll be all.” Stan sputtered the last sentence quickly before Richie had the chance to make any more sly comments, or so he thought.

“Just the cappuccino? You sure ‘bout that? You don’t want something a little sugary on the side?” he said with a wink. His efforts made Stan suppress a smile, and Richie saw right through it.  
“Another time,” Stan replied. Maybe he could play along after all. Richie got to making his drink and Stan stood off to the side, pretending to text someone on his phone. He suddenly felt shy and didn’t want to look back up at Richie, but didn’t want to make eye contact with Ben or Mike, either.

“Medium cappuccino!” Richie announced, but looked directly towards Stan. “And if you change your mind about the sweets…”

Stan looked down at where Richie’s hand was on the counter. Richie had written his name and phone number on a napkin and was sliding it towards Stan.

“...just give me a call. I’m Richie, by the way.”

Stan blushed and shocked even himself by taking the napkin and tucking it in his back pocket.

“I think I will. See you ‘round, Richie.” Stan smiled up at him and took a split second to memorize his most prominent features before turning his back. On his way towards Ben and Mike’s table, he was already playing out how his next encounter with Richie might go. Richie looked unkempt; his hair was a mess, but a purposeful mess. He was wearing a baggy sweater that seemed to hang off of his body in every right way. His glasses were thick and teeth were a little bit crooked, and for some reason that Stan couldn’t quite put his finger on, he admired how careless Richie seemed about it all.

Quite possibly, it was because he looked like the complete opposite of Bill.

Stan shook it off and slid into the seat next to Ben. “Thanks for inviting me. I can only stay for like, thirty minutes, though. I’m meeting a new client today.” It wasn’t technically a lie; he did have a new client coming in for the first time, but they weren’t coming for another two hours. Thirty minutes felt safe in case things got too awkward.  
“I’m glad you were able to come. Your schedule’s probably crazy,” Ben said with a welcoming smile. Mike felt less welcoming, but seemed less tense than the day before. Stan wondered if he was making any sly comments in his head about all the lost time.

“Me too. It’s nice to see you, I mean…” Mike said. Stan was taken back, and so was Ben. It must have struck a chord with him when Ben outed him for missing Stan too.

Suddenly, it felt like there wasn’t any lost time at all. They began to talk about work; Ben was telling funny stories about his students, Mike stressing over people misplacing books, and even though Stan couldn’t talk about private matters that went on inside his office, he told them whatever funny cat stories he had about Caesar or times he recently went birdwatching. He even mentioned Bev coming back to town; Mike and Ben had an understanding of who she was, but had never met her before. From what they did know though, they understood she was one of Stan’s closest friends, and genuinely felt happy for him after hearing that she would be in Derry soon. Stan felt his walls come down little by little as the conversation went on. He didn’t know he missed them as much as he did. But, it didn’t last for too much longer when Ben and Mike exchanged looks and suddenly had serious expressions on their faces.

“So,” Mike started off, “Bill is in town again.”

Stan gulped.

“That’s just the most recent thing going on right now, that’s all…” Ben shrunk into Mike’s arm that was thrown over his shoulder. It was a pitiful attempt to save the conversation, seeing as Stan was back to avoiding looking at them.

“Oh, uh, is he? I didn’t realize it’s been that long since he left already,” Stan lied.

“We should invite him next time! If that’s cool with you, I mean,” Mike added afterward. He didn’t feel like he should have to ask for permission, but he knew that if they didn’t play nice in the beginning, Stan would go right back into his shell.

“I…” Stan’s eyes darted to where Richie was standing behind the counter, “I guess.” His response didn’t sound convincing, but Ben ignored it to leave room for hope.

“Wow--I mean, cool! We’ll do that then.” Mike said, definitely surprised at Stan’s agreement.

“I can invite my boyfriend too, if that’s cool with you guys,” Stan said. He didn’t mean to say it, but he did. Now he had to work fast.

“Oh, uh, sure,” Ben sputtered out, brows raised in surprise. “Who’s your boyfriend?”

“His name is Richie. He’s great! He, uh,” his eyes flickered to the counter again, “he’s got glasses. I gotta go now!” Stan stood up and collected his jacket and to-go cup. Thirty minutes was a good idea.

Mike and Ben waved to him before turning back to each other--both thinking the same thing. Mike put his head in his hands.

“ _Shit_.”

* * *

 

Bill called Georgie on FaceTime after dinner that same day. With the newfound amount of free time he had on his hands being home now, he was able at last to keep better contact with him, without a crazy schedule in the way. Georgie was highlighting information in his textbook for one of his finals when Bill decided to call but kept the volume turned up all the way so he could double task.

“Georgie!”

“Bill!” his younger brother called back, mockingly trying to match Bill’s enthusiasm.

He rolled his eyes. “W-Whatcha working on?”

“Studying for exams,” Georgie answered. He looked more intently at the expression on Bill’s face and knew right away there was something on his eyes. “Bill, what do you want?”  
“I f-f-figured out how I’m gonna talk to Stan again.”

Georgie rolled his eyes. He was right, as usual, but was willing to listen. He didn’t mind a break from studying. “Alright, then. What is it?”

“W-Well, you know that cafe? By the library?”

“You’re going to ask him to go get coffee? That’s a good idea.”

Bill shifted in his seat. “Not exactly...I’m gonna go there every once in a while, y’know, j-j-just to see if I’ll run into him.”

Georgie squinted at his screen. He didn’t respond for a moment, hoping there was more to Bill’s plan.

“Are you listening?” Bill crossed his arms. “Y’know, you can j-just tell me if you’re really fr-freaking out about this final. I can call you back later.”

“Bill, are you listening to _yourself_?” Georgie snickered.

He was taken back. “Wh-What is that supposed to mean?”

“Your plan is to sit and wait at that dumb cafe until he shows up? You don’t even know the chances of that happening.”

“Yes, I do! He-He loves that cafe!”

“Yeah, and he sold the apartment, didn’t he? Maybe he found a new place to get coffee too. I’m just saying, stalking him might not be the solution.”

He could have taken it further, but he knew at that point he would have been tugging on Bill’s chain a little too hard.

“I’m not gonna stalk him,” Bill muttered in defense. “Whatever. B-B-But I gotta go, George. When is your gr-graduation, again?”

“The beginning of May, Bill. You better be there, asshole.”

“I-I-I wouldn’t miss it for anything, _dipshit_. Good luck studying.”

“G’night!”

Bill smiled at him briefly before closing his laptop. As much as he hated to admit, Georgie had a point. He wouldn’t get anywhere by not being straightforward with Stan. But, Bill was more than willing to make a fool out of himself.

While he sat in thought, Bill picked at the thick and calloused skin on his hands. There was a particular callous on his ring finger on his dominant hand that formed from writing as much as he did. Being an author, he typed a lot, but was also the type to break out a pen and whatever he could write on when an idea for one of his stories popped into his head at random. Not only did he write in a moment like that, but he wrote letters. In the time he spent in Toronto, Bill wrote to Stan as much as he possibly could. He didn’t keep track of how many, but there was a number he knew for sure: zero. Stan sent zero letters back.

Bill considered stopping around the fifth letter mark. Then at the fifteenth, and probably a third, however many deep he was at that point. The only thing that kept him going was a picture he had of himself with Stan from college. It was an impromptu picture Stan’s old roommate took of them huddled on the couch under a blanket; Stan was wearing one of Bill’s sweaters, and Bill had his head resting on Stan’s shoulders as they peered down at whatever book was in his lap. It was a sweet moment captured, but much more to Bill. It was a reminder of what something worth fighting for.

_“Are you cold?” Bill asked. Stan looked up from the book in his hands and shrugged. Stan wasn’t one to break the silence just to complain, but Bill knew him better, so he asked._

_“A little,” he shrugged. It was more than a little, Bill decided, seeing that the hair on Stan’s arms were raised._

_“You s-sure you don’t want my sweater?”_

_Another shrug, but this time there was the faintest blush on his cheeks. Bill pulled the sweater over his head and pushed Stan’s head through the neck hole without saying another word._

_“Thanks,” Stan smiled meekly up at Bill. “I guess it’s sorta chilly.”_

_Bill responded by wrapping them together under a blanket that was previously in their laps. He kissed Stan on the cheek and whispered into his ear, “Keep it.” Suddenly, his roommate barged through the door._

_“Aw, look at the happy couple! Say cheese!” Adam cooed and quickly snagged a picture on his shiny new Nikon._

_“Knock it off,” Stan acted annoyed, but he couldn’t hide the small grin that lingered on his face._

_“Whatever, Staniel. I’ll print it for you for a buck--you two will cherish that pic forever and have me to thanks!”_

Bill chuckled to himself at the memory. He ended up going to Adam at their dorm a few days after while Stan was at class, dollar in hand, ready to take him up on the offer.

Suddenly, Bill felt a buzz in his pocket. He reached in and took out his cell phone to find that Mike was calling him. He was relieved-immediately, he thought to the last time he spoke to either Mike or Ben, and felt guilty walking out on them at the cafe.

“Mike! I’m s-sorry, man. I should have called you first. I s-sh-shouldn’t have yelled at you guys.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Mike said. If he was going, to tell the truth, Mike wasn’t even thinking about their last interaction ever since catching up with Stan that morning. “I called for a different reason.”

“Oh? Wh-What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” _Depends, are you going to get mad again?_ “Uh, Ben and I had coffee with Stan today. We talked for a little while.”

Mike had Bill’s full attention at the mention of Stan’s name. “I th-thought you guys didn’t see him anymore!”

“We don’t. Well, not until now, I guess.”

“What d-does that mean?”

“After you stormed out of Ridge’s, Ben and I were walking to the car and Stan just got off work. We ran into each other, Ben swooped in and asked him to get coffee this morning--”

“Fuck, Mike! You should have invited me!”

Mike rolled his eyes. Ben was sitting across the table from him, shaking his head in disapproval. “Do you think Stan would have agreed to come if he knew you were gonna be there? No, he wouldn’t, dumbass.”

“O-Okay, true...but, still, I wish I had known. And I sh-sh-should have known he was working at the psychiatric offices on that street!”

“If you plan on going to meet him, don’t. You’re gonna look like a stalker ex, he’ll just have another reason to avoid you.” Mike said. Bill was beginning to think ‘stalker’ was the word of the day.

“Whatever. What did you g-guys t-talk about?”

Mike and Ben looked at each other. “You’re the bearer of bad news ‘round here,” Ben whispered. Mike huffed and decided lying was the easier thing to do, for Bill’s sake. He wasn’t sure how he’d break the news that Stan had a new boyfriend, or that on top of that he didn’t even realize Bill was back in Derry.

“He has a cat. His name is Caesar."

“Y-Y-Yeah, I know that. Ben said he ran into Stan buying cat food or s-something one day. What else?”

Mike thought about what he should say next, but couldn't come up with anything good. “Work is good.”

“Anything _else_?” Bill pressed. He knew he was prying, but also that they were already aware of his intentions of getting to Stan.

“Not really…” Mike swallowed. He was lucky they weren’t talking in person or Bill would see how nervous the expression on his face was while lying about everything they talked about that morning. “Oh! He did say something about his friend Bev coming to town soon.”

“That’s good. Sh-She probably hates my guts just as much as Stan right now, though.”

“Whatever, at least you know what he’s got going on now.” A fat ass lie if Mike ever told one.

“Thanks, Mike. You’re right. Did you guys m-make plans to s-see Stan again?”

“No.” A half-truth this time. Mike didn’t want to dig the hole he just made himself even further, so cancelling meeting Stan’s new boyfriend sounded like a good idea. He didn’t want to be an acquaintance if they ever ran into him again with Bill around. “We’re probably sure to see him around Ridge’s though, now that we know he works up the street.”

Bill smiled contently. “Thanks, Mike. A-A-Again, I’m s-sorry for being a huge douche the other d-day.”

“Don’t stress it. See you later, Bill.”

“Tell Benjamin I said goodnight!”

“Gotcha. ‘Night, Bill.”

Bill ended the call and shut his phone off completely for the rest of the night. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, and resumed getting ready for bed.

With each time he brushed his teeth, unmade the bed, and tossed and turned in his sleep, he felt a little more lonely. After years of being with Stan, the countless times they slept in the same bed, it felt unnatural doing it without Stanley present. Bill was never good at sleeping alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for sticking through if you've been reading this fic. albeit the chapters are short and this fic is just something i do for fun, it's fun to write and share with you guys. (whose side are you on? team richie? team bill?)  
> comments or kudos appreciated, and thank you everyone who has so far! (〃´∀｀〃)ε｀●)chu♪~

**Author's Note:**

> That chunk in italics is a flashback, in case anyone is confused. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy what I have planned for this fic!


End file.
